Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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