White coat. Heels.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
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