Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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