I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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