Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm bleeding and have questions
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
