Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
