Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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