Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
