Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
