I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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