Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize