Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
