babies were throwing up all over the place
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
