he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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