so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
so much tequila, so little girl.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Randomize
