I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
