We won't sleep together?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
