HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
