You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
