I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
