Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Randomize
