Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
