That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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