Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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