i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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