She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
