I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
