So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
