I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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