just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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