Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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