I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize