So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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