I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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