Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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