he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
