Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
