dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize