..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
