And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
