guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
