it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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