shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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