Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
