Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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