He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
