i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
