About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Found your dick twin last night
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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