i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
