I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Randomize
