He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
