I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
