Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
