Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
