4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Randomize
