oh god the rape fog is back!
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
