Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
