I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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