i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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