Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
40s are totally the cure
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
